Confession (Asgard Shorts series 7)
by LadyLorena
Summary: Odin tells Grace something he would have never admitted while king. Part of the Asgard Shorts series of one shots following Best of Both Worlds.


As the younger brother to the king of Asgard, Loki had a few official duties he was obligated to attend to. One such duty involved making sure that the bereaved of the kingdom, those whose happiness had been sacrificed to war, were taken care of. Usually this simply meant doing paperwork to be sure that the orphanages, asylums, and care facilities were all well stocked and had the money to staff their wards, but once a year each place would receive a visit and an inspection of the facilities. They would put on their best uniforms, have their patients dress their neatest, and present an image to the crown that supposedly also reflected how well they cared for their people year-round. Of course, everyone knew that the face they showed the royal party was not at all what they were like throughout the year, but it was generally accepted that if there was anything seriously wrong with one of the care facilities, it would still show when the officials came to tour.

Loki, ever the cynic, was a good choice for these tours in that he actually did look to see if there was anything wrong. He never believed that things were as rosy as they appeared and he would push or question when something bothered him. Unfortunately, what it took to bother him was not always a low enough threshold to catch every little thing that would red flag on a more sensitive person's radar. This is why he had started taking Grace with him. She looked for things, but she did not look for them in the official narrative being presented. She took people aside and talked to them. She listened to complaints, allowed people to ramble, and did not even mind that the patients at the asylum always wanted to touch her brightly dyed hair.

Grace both loved and hated visiting the orphanages. She loved being there for the young people, watching them smile, and telling stories to the children as they gathered around her. She hated the reminder that none of these children had families and she could not adopt each and every one of them.

She tried, though. She asked Odin what it took to adopt kids. She asked Thor if they could bring small groups of children to the palace to play in the gardens or to learn different skills from the many people who kept the royal household going. She talked to Loki long into the nights about her feelings as an orphan and what it meant to her to find her brother- what it meant to become a Stark.

One night, long after Loki and Thor had left to conference with Queen Sif and her Warriors Three, Grace sat by the fire in the family dining room with Odin. He was pensive, as he often was in his advancing age, and sat quietly with his books and the notebook he had been writing in for the past few years, it's pages full of sketches and his cramped handwriting.

"Odin...can I ask you something? It's been on my mind for a while now."

"Of course. What is it you seek?"

"Well I've been thinking a lot as we visit these orphanages- about that Loki and I were both orphans once. And I have to wonder- how do you pick a child, just one child, to be yours? How did you choose Loki instead of leaving him on the rock? How did you know he was going to be part of the family?"

Odin sighed and did not answer for a few minutes; this was something Grace expected. While she and the All-Father had not been the closest of people when she first arrived in Asgard, he had come to see her as part of the family. It had helped that he had seen her as an old Midgardian woman before Loki had worked his spell to bring her life to the length of his. Odin had realised that old was old, no matter what realm you were in.

"I did not. I did not think he would ever be a part of our family when I first picked up that small child. I only thought how he would serve us. How he could possibly unite the realms and end the wars, bringing peace to the kingdoms. I am not the person you ought to ask this question of, but she is dead and I cannot answer for her. She loved him on sight. I did not."

"But you eventually did. I mean, he'd be dead at least ten times over if you didn't feel something for him, right?"

This time, he smiled, "Oh yes, I came to love him, it is true. His brother loved him. His mother loved him. I grew to do the same. But to ask me how to choose a child? This I cannot answer. I did not leave him on the rock because I thought him useful, as though he were a mere object. What he became to me was only because of the love others showed him."

Grace thought, "But you had to have noticed..."

"Noticed what?"

"How desperately he needs you."

Odin sadly shook his head, "No, I did not see such things then. I did not see his needs until so many years later and after losing him. And it was not my own eye that I saw it with, but it took Thor to point this out to me- to show me that my youngest son so desperately needed my attention that he was willing to kill and die for it. I am ashamed to admit this failing, but I am an old man and there is not enough time to hide regrets. If I wish to do something about them, I must confess them now."

"You know he's still doing it, right? Still always looking from that approval from you?"

"I fear what will happen when I die."

"You and me both," Grace admitted, "You and me both."


End file.
